Link: 
I first saw this on Random Good Stuff
Wednesday, December 02, 2009
Tuesday, December 01, 2009
You Know Publisher's Enhance Photos - Don't You?
The photographer takes the photo, then the art director manipulates the photo before it goes in the magazine. Here's an example - using Lindsay Lohan...
Before ..................................... After
Quite a difference, ey?
HERE's a link to a site with several more examples of the photo manipulation.
Before ..................................... After
Quite a difference, ey?
HERE's a link to a site with several more examples of the photo manipulation.
I Didn't Know That...
The following was ripped from a post at Bits and Pieces...
Things you never knew had names
1. AGLET – The plain or 
ornamental covering on the end of a shoelace.
2. ARMSAYE – The armhole in clothing.
3. CHANKING – Spat-out food, such as rinds or pits.
4. COLUMELLA NASI – The bottom part of the nose between the nostrils.
5. DRAGÉES – Small beadlike pieces of candy, usually silver-coloured, used for decorating cookies, cakes and sundaes.
6. FEAT – A dangling curl of hair.
7. FERRULE – The metal band on a pencil that holds the eraser in place.
8. HARP – The small metal hoop that supports a lampshade.
9. HEMIDEMISEMIQUAVER – A 64th note. (A 32nd is a demisemiquaver, and a 16th note is a semiquaver.)
10. JARNS,
11. NITTLES,
12. GRAWLIX,
13. and QUIMP – Various squiggles used to denote cussing in comic books.
14. KEEPER – The loop on a belt that keeps the end in place after it has passed through the buckle.
15. KICK or PUNT – The indentation at the bottom of some wine bottles. It gives added strength to the bottle but lessens its holding capacity.
16. LIRIPIPE - The long tail on a graduate’s academic hood.
17. MINIMUS – The little finger or toe.
18. NEF – An ornamental stand in the shape of a ship.
19. OBDORMITION – The numbness caused by pressure on a nerve; when a limb is ‘asleep’.
20. OCTOTHORPE – The symbol ‘#’ on a telephone handset. Bell Labs’ engineer Don Macpherson created the word in the 1960s by combining octo-, as in eight, with the name of one of his favourite athletes, 1912 Olympic decathlon champion Jim Thorpe.
21. OPHRYON – The space between the eyebrows on a line with the top of the eye sockets.
22. PEEN – The end of a hammer head opposite the striking face.
23. PHOSPHENES – The lights you see when you close your eyes hard. Technically the luminous impressions are due to the excitation of the retina caused by pressure on the eyeball.
24. PURLICUE – The space between the thumb and extended forefinger.
25. RASCETA – Creases on the inside of the wrist.
26. ROWEL – The revolving star on the back of a cowboy’s spurs.
27. SADDLE – The rounded part on the top of a matchbook.
28. SCROOP – The rustle of silk.
29. SNORKEL BOX – A mailbox with a protruding receiver to allow people to deposit mail without leaving their cars.
30. SPRAINTS – Otter dung.
31. TANG – The projecting prong on a tool or instrument.
32. WAMBLE – Stomach rumbling.
33. ZARF – A holder for a handleless coffee cup.
How Old ARE You?
Tiger Woods Jokes
I scarfed these from Bits and Pieces...
Tiger Woods crashed his car near his home in the Orlando Florida area. Isn’t it about time for some Tiger jokes?
Tiger Woods is so rich that he owns lots of expensive cars.
Now he has a hole in one.
I finally out-drove Tiger Woods.
What’s the difference between a car and a golf ball?
Tiger can drive a ball 400 yards.
it’s really not that surprising. everyone knows driving is the worst part of his game.
Tiger Woods wasn’t seriously injured in the crash, but he’s still below par.
What were Tiger Woods and his wife doing out at 2.30 in the morning?
They went clubbing.
Tiger Woods crashed into a fire hydrant and a tree.
He couldn’t decide between a wood and an iron.
Tiger Woods just announced that he is enrolling in Chris Brown’s school of self-defense.
He should have used a driver …
What do a golf ball and an SUV have in common? Tiger Woods drives both into trees on occasion.
Hollywood is making a film based on this incident:
Crouching Tiger, Hidden Hydrant.
What’s the difference between Tiger’s Cadillac and his pitching wedge?
He can back up his pitching wedge!
Monday, November 30, 2009
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
Friday, November 20, 2009
Joke - Hotel TV
A friend of mine who works for the government was on a business trip, and checked into a hotel in Washington D.C. in preparation for a meeting at headquarters.
Wanting to ensure he stayed completely on the up-and-up, he remembered to ask about the TV this time, to avoid it appearing on his bill -- which would be examined by government auditors.
"Excuse me," he said to the clerk as he accepted his room key. "I certainly hope the porn channel in my room is disabled."
"No, you sick bastard!" she exclaimed. "It's regular porn!"
Sometimes you have to be really careful how you word things.
Wanting to ensure he stayed completely on the up-and-up, he remembered to ask about the TV this time, to avoid it appearing on his bill -- which would be examined by government auditors.
"Excuse me," he said to the clerk as he accepted his room key. "I certainly hope the porn channel in my room is disabled."
"No, you sick bastard!" she exclaimed. "It's regular porn!"
Sometimes you have to be really careful how you word things.
Fun Images: Dogs
Puppy Soup
Tongue Depressants
Ouch
Speedy
Courageous Dog
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| From Chuck's Fun Page 2 |
Tongue Depressants
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| From Chuck's Fun Page 2 |
Ouch
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| From Chuck's Fun Page 2 |
Speedy
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| From Chuck's Fun Page 2 |
Courageous Dog
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| From Chuck's Fun Page 2 |
Cartoons - The Price Of Gas
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| From Chuck's Fun Page 2 |
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| From Chuck's Fun Page 2 |
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| From Chuck's Fun Page 2 |
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| From Chuck's Fun Page 2 |
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| From Chuck's Fun Page 2 |
Thursday, November 19, 2009
Friday, November 13, 2009
Frank Feldman
A man walks out to the street and catches a taxi just going by. He gets into the taxi, and the cabbie says, "Perfect timing, Mister! You're just like Frank."
Passenger: "Who?"
Cabbie: "Frank Feldman. He's a guy who did everything right all the time. Like my coming along when you needed a cab, things happened like that to Frank Feldman every single time."
Passenger: "There are always a few clouds over everybody."
Cabbie: "Not Frank Feldman. He was a terrific athlete. He could have won the Grand-Slam at tennis. He could golf with the pros. He sang like an opera baritone and danced like a Broadway star and you should have heard him play the piano. He was an amazing guy."
Passenger: "Sounds like he was something really special."
Cabbie: "There's more! He had a memory like a computer. He remembered everybody"s birthday. He knew all about wine, which foods to order and which fork to eat them with. He could fix anything. Not like me. I change a fuse, and the whole street blacks out. But Frank Feldman, he could do everything right."
Passenger: "Wow, some guy then."
Cabbie: "He always knew the quickest way to go in traffic and avoid traffic jams. Not like me, I always seem to get stuck in them. But Frank, he never made a mistake, and he really knew how to treat a woman and make her feel good. He would never answer her back even if she was in the wrong; and his clothing was always immaculate, shoes highly polished too -- He was the perfect man! He never made a mistake. No one could ever measure up to Frank Feldman."
Passenger: "An amazing fellow. How did you meet him?"
Cabbie: "Well, I never actually met Frank. He died and I married his damned widow."
Passenger: "Who?"
Cabbie: "Frank Feldman. He's a guy who did everything right all the time. Like my coming along when you needed a cab, things happened like that to Frank Feldman every single time."
Passenger: "There are always a few clouds over everybody."
Cabbie: "Not Frank Feldman. He was a terrific athlete. He could have won the Grand-Slam at tennis. He could golf with the pros. He sang like an opera baritone and danced like a Broadway star and you should have heard him play the piano. He was an amazing guy."
Passenger: "Sounds like he was something really special."
Cabbie: "There's more! He had a memory like a computer. He remembered everybody"s birthday. He knew all about wine, which foods to order and which fork to eat them with. He could fix anything. Not like me. I change a fuse, and the whole street blacks out. But Frank Feldman, he could do everything right."
Passenger: "Wow, some guy then."
Cabbie: "He always knew the quickest way to go in traffic and avoid traffic jams. Not like me, I always seem to get stuck in them. But Frank, he never made a mistake, and he really knew how to treat a woman and make her feel good. He would never answer her back even if she was in the wrong; and his clothing was always immaculate, shoes highly polished too -- He was the perfect man! He never made a mistake. No one could ever measure up to Frank Feldman."
Passenger: "An amazing fellow. How did you meet him?"
Cabbie: "Well, I never actually met Frank. He died and I married his damned widow."
Thursday, November 12, 2009
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Blonde Joke
A blonde tried to sell her old car. She was having a lot of problems selling it,because the car had almost 230,000 miles on it.
One day, she told her problem to a brunette she worked with at a salon.
The brunette told her, "There is a possibility to make the car easier to sell, but it's not legal."
"That doesn't matter," replied the blonde, "if I only can sell the car."
"Okay," said the brunette. "Here is the address of a friend of mine. He owns a car repair shop. Tell him I sent you and he will 'fix it'. Then it should not be a problem to sell your car anymore."
The following weekend, the blonde made the trip to the mechanic.
About one month after that, the brunette asked the blonde, "Did you sell your car?"
"No," replied the blonde, "Why should I? It only has 50,000 miles on it!"
One day, she told her problem to a brunette she worked with at a salon.
The brunette told her, "There is a possibility to make the car easier to sell, but it's not legal."
"That doesn't matter," replied the blonde, "if I only can sell the car."
"Okay," said the brunette. "Here is the address of a friend of mine. He owns a car repair shop. Tell him I sent you and he will 'fix it'. Then it should not be a problem to sell your car anymore."
The following weekend, the blonde made the trip to the mechanic.
About one month after that, the brunette asked the blonde, "Did you sell your car?"
"No," replied the blonde, "Why should I? It only has 50,000 miles on it!"
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Monday, October 12, 2009
Be Careful Out There!
I'm not usually one for posting warnings about potential scams but I had a close call on Sunday.
I walked into Home Depot at lunchtime and some old guy dressed in a blue shirt with a orange apron on asked me if I wanted decking.
Fortunately, I got the first punch in and sorted him out.
Those less suspecting might not be so lucky.
I walked into Home Depot at lunchtime and some old guy dressed in a blue shirt with a orange apron on asked me if I wanted decking.
Fortunately, I got the first punch in and sorted him out.
Those less suspecting might not be so lucky.
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